Having a divorce conversation with your children is quite important if you are a parent. You will often see people give advice about how to do this properly. Make a list of things you want to say, consider your children’s ages, don’t tell them until you’re sure, etc. These tips can be helpful and can make the process go more smoothly.
That said, it is also important to know what mistakes you should try to avoid. Here are a few examples to keep in mind if you’re approaching this delicate conversation.
Telling the children one at a time
If you talk to your children one at a time, rather than telling them all at once, they might hear about the divorce from someone else. This can be very jarring and disconcerting for them. It is best for them to hear directly from their parents, preferably during a family with all children present.
Placing blame
Don’t blame anyone for the divorce. Simply tell your children that it is happening and take the time to reassure them that it’s not their fault. But don’t blame your spouse in front of them – even if you technically do blame them privately.
Having the conversation in a rush
Some people will bring this conversation up when they do not realistically have enough time to go through it all with the children. They have to rush or cut it short. Instead, plan ahead so that you’ll have time to answer their questions and provide them with reassurance and valuable information.
This helps you understand a bit more about getting your divorce started. Once you get the legal process underway, be sure you understand exactly what steps you need to take.