Divorce is an opportunity to live life how you want without consulting or considering your spouse. Yet, if you are a parent, you still need to consider what your children want and, to a degree, what your spouse wants in relation to the kids.
Kids need two main things after a divorce: Love and stability.
Make sure you reassure the kids they are loved
You love your child. You always have and always will love them. So what is the problem? Divorce can be confusing for kids. They grew up knowing you and your spouse loved them, but they may not be so sure anymore. After all, you and your spouse loved each other, but now you don’t. So why could you also not fall out of love with your kids? It might seem a daft prospect to you, but you are an adult, and kids use different logic.
You need to reassure your kids you still love them and that the divorce was not their fault. That is another piece of kid logic. They often assume you are separating because of something they did.
How do you reassure your kids? Telling them is crucial, yet so are your actions. You may be busy with the divorce or working more to compensate for the loss of your two incomes. Yet your child will notice if you have less time to spend with them and may draw their own erroneous conclusions.
Do your best to give the kids as much stability as possible
Divorce means upheaval, so you need to work with your co-parent to give your child as much stability as you can. Think about how you coordinate routines between the two homes. How you organize pick-ups and drop-offs and how you alternate your parenting schedule. If you can keep some of the routines you had pre-divorce, that too could help provide continuity. Also, consider how much you need to change. Keeping your child in the same school and staying in an area where they can still play with their friends gives stability.
Considering all these things when creating your parenting plan will make divorce easier for your child.